An early-2000s multi-camera network sitcom, shot on 35mm film with a four-camera
Panavision setup before a live studio audience, Kodak Vision2 500T stock, telecined
to NTSC videotape for broadcast. Fine 35mm grain, gentle halation blooming around the
practical lamps, slight interlaced video softness, flat high-key television lighting
with no shadows, warm saturated early-2000s colour timing, 4:3 frame.
SET: a three-wall apartment living room. Beige couch with a chenille throw, warm
practical table lamps, a lava lamp, a beaded curtain over the kitchen doorway, a DVD
tower, an inflatable chair in the corner, a cluttered desk with a chunky beige CRT
monitor and a boxy tower, burned CDs in paper sleeves, front door stage right.
SUBJECTS, identical in every shot:
- the ginger tabby in the grey zip-up hoodie — a ginger tabby cat sitting upright on a
desk chair, wearing an oversized grey zip-up hoodie over a striped orange rugby
shirt and a puka shell necklace.
- the grey longhair in the burgundy velour tracksuit — a grey longhair cat standing
upright, wearing a burgundy velour tracksuit with white piping and a chunky silver
flip phone clipped to the waistband, holding a chipped mug.
Camera locked off, no camera movement, both cats angled slightly toward camera,
camera never crosses into the fourth wall.
SHOT ONE (0-6s): Locked-off wide two shot of the living room. The ginger tabby in the
grey zip-up hoodie taps the keyboard with his front paws, face lit by the CRT. The
front door swings open and the grey longhair in the burgundy velour tracksuit walks in
holding the mug. The studio audience applauds. He stops, looks at the desk and says,
mildly, "What are you doing?" HARD CUT.
SHOT TWO (6-11s): Medium close-up of the ginger tabby in the grey zip-up hoodie. He
does not look away from the screen, keeps tapping, and says, brightly and
matter-of-fact, "I'm teaching the computer to make funny dancing humans." The studio
audience laughs. HARD CUT.
SHOT THREE (11-16s): Medium close-up of the grey longhair in the burgundy velour
tracksuit. He lowers the mug, waits a beat, and says, completely flat, "We have a
human." Another beat. "He's in the kitchen." The studio audience laughs. HARD CUT.
SHOT FOUR (16-20s): Close-up of the ginger tabby in the grey zip-up hoodie. He stops
typing, slowly turns his head away from the screen toward the beaded curtain, holds,
then calls out once, flat: "Mark." Off screen a man immediately starts dancing, feet
thumping on the floorboards, the beaded curtain swaying. The cat keeps staring off
screen. The studio audience laughs and applauds. Hold.
Audio: paw taps on a keyboard, CRT whine, a mug set down on wood, a door swinging
open, entrance applause, studio audience laughter after each punch line, beads
clacking and off-screen footsteps thumping in rhythm at the end. No music, no score.
No on-screen text, no subtitles.
Constraints: keep both cats identical in every shot, real cats in real clothes sitting
upright, no human characters visible on screen, no camera movement, no extra cuts,
no modern flat-screen monitors, no smartphones, no flat digital video look.